Evan's Eyes


This movie forces a startling realization: Paleolithic cephalopods had religion. It's the only thing that really explains why all Ancient Gods have tentacles. The attack of the Ancient Gods in this film looks like the cuttlefish sequence from "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" coming from above. As humans weren't around in truly ancient times, these gods must have been generated by the worship of a pre-historical religion, and since gods are created in the form of the worshipers, who better to manifest a big squid-deity than Paleolithic squid? (Please, don't email me and argue the chicken-and-egg nature of gods and religions; I know what I'm talking about).

Once one gets over the surprising nature of this revelation, all else in this film pales in comparison to a merely average action/horror based on graphic-novel characters. Since "Hellboy" is a contemporary comic, the Hellboy character is a flawed, dark protagonist with a tortured soul who constantly yearns for an unreachable goal, but knows that Fate has dealt him a crummy hand. Those who love the comic will probably feel the movie doesn't do it justice, and those who never heard of it before won't care enough about the characters. So it boils down to visual and special effects, of which this film has many, and they're adequate, but not exceptional. This film is perfect for diehard Hellboy fans and those who need to kill two hours on a rainy weekend afternoon by seeing what kind of gods a squid would have.

If you liked the movies below, you'll probably like this one (and vice versa):

  • Spawn
  • Daredevil
  • Incredible Hulk
Overall Rating: 5 (where 1=Worthless, 10=Fabulous)

Eight-Facet Info Rating, rated on a scale of 0 (None) to 4 (Lots!)):

Humor: 2
Nudity: 0
Sexual Reference: 1
Sexual Activity: 0
Action: 3
Gore: 1
Violence: 3
Profanity: 1


© 2004 Evan M. Nichols