Evan's Eyes


If George W. wants a shining historical legacy, rather than being "the guy who mired us in TWO Middle-Eastern countries," all he has to do is mandate truth-in-advertising laws for the descriptions that appear on videos and DVDs, particularly regulating the use of the word "hilarious." Who hasn't read the box at the video rental store and thought "Hey, this sounds good! And some Topeka journalist said it was hilarious!", only to waste two hours on a lukewarm comedy where all the funny bits are in the preview? A perfect example is this movie, Haiku Tunnel. They rave about it on the box. One expects the director is subjected to lawsuits for dry-cleaning costs because it doesn't say "Warning! Wear adult diapers because you will laugh SO HARD!" Then you watch it and think, "That was funny? Did they watch the same movie?" Sure, the concept has potential, and there are some moderately amusing bits, but based on what I read, I had a towel handy for all the milk that would be shooting out of my nose, even though I no longer drink milk. Well, I chuckled a few times, but it wasn't the promised Laugh Riot I was expecting. I suppose that's why I review these movies, so others can escape the crushing disappointment of humorless comedies, tedious thrillers, and undramatic dramas. I'm tempted to swear off movies where the writer also produced, directed, and starred in it. I guess it should be a warning sign when nobody else liked the script enough to want to be involved, so the writer said "Fine! I'll show you! I'll make it MYSELF!" If someone else had directed or edited this, it might have turned into a good, or even great short film. Since there's almost no market for short films, the writer padded it out to feature-length, and it's like eating sausage that's two-thirds filler, or like living in a Presidential administration without a domestic policy and no intention of regulating the movie descriptions that appear on video-store boxes.

Don't rent this one, instead, pick some of the ones below:

  • Office Space
  • Clockwatchers
  • Working Girl
  • Good Advice
Overall Rating: 2 (where 1=Worthless, 10=Fabulous)

Eight-Facet Info Rating, rated on a scale of 0 (None) to 4 (Lots!)):

Humor: 1
Nudity: 0
Sexual Reference: 1
Sexual Activity: 1
Action: 0
Gore: 0
Violence: 0
Profanity: 1


© 2003 Evan M. Nichols