Evan's Eyes

Austin Powers in Goldmember

As an experiment, I reviewed the latest installment in the Austin Powers series without actually having seen the movie! I had predicted that quick inserts of psychedelic dancers would appear, but someone must have taken Mike Myers aside and explained that that was a bad idea thirty years ago. Other than that, I was amazingly accurate!

Here's what I wrote before:

I did wonder, though, why did people think that quick inserts of psychedelic dancers would make a movie better? And those clothes; what were we thinking? Can you imagine that people looked in the mirror and thought "Damn, I look good! " It's hard to believe, but they must have. I mean, an entire generation wore those clothes and met, mated, and spawned children, so while you'd think that roller discos and nightclubs would just be filled with people laughing their fool heads off at the bizarre costumes everyone else was wearing, and then going home alone, they apparently didn't. If it wasn't for alcohol's ability to impair judgment (or perhaps the gifts from other recreational pharmaceuticals), people during the 60's and 70's might not have had any children at all. Or they would have had to clone them, like Mini-Me. Which makes me think, I get way too much amusement out of Mini-Me having the crap beaten out of him. I mean, I'm laughing, but I'm feeling kind of bad because they're hitting, kicking or smacking a human being. But everyone else in the theater is laughing too, so I guess it's okay. And we all laugh when regular-size people get killed or beaten up in funny ways, so it isn't like it's only funny when it happens to a Little Person. Lots of people got hurt in funny ways in the first two movies. In a way, this movie is a lot like the first two, with some different characters, and a slightly different plot. It makes one wonder how many movies in this series could be done, all very similar. Despite some truly egregious movies, the James Bond series is still going strong after twenty installments, and it's not like there's been anything new or creative in those films for a decade. We should take bets on how many Austin Powers movies will be made. That way we'll still have some interest in the next release long after Mike Myers runs out of different accents....

I didn't predict that Goldmember would be so self-congratulatory. I sense that Hollywood stars are so desperate to appear in an Austin Powers movie they're having their agents fight to the death. No wonder, filming is probably one big party. They're having so much fun, it almost doesn't matter if anyone watches the finished product. Even though some of the bits last well past being funny, a nod to Saturday Night Live, more gags work than fizzle (e.g. Tom Cruise as Austin Powers vs. wacky Dutch accent in-jokes). And if you get bored with the complexities of Austin's relationship with his father, there's still plenty of fart jokes to keep you going!

If you liked the movies below, you'll probably like this one (and visa versa):

  • Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
  • Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
  • Top Secret
  • Second Best Secret Agent In The Whole Wide World
  • Undercover Brother
Overall Rating: 7 (where 1=Worthless, 10=Fabulous)

Eight-Facet Info Rating, rated on a scale of 0 (None) to 4 (Lots!)):

Humor: 3
Nudity: 1
Sexual Reference: 3
Sexual Activity: 0
Action: 2
Gore: 0
Violence: 1
Profanity: 1


© 2002 Evan M. Nichols